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Tuesday, April 4


A lot of crazy stuff goes down in this world. Sometimes we get the opportunity to witness some of it first hand, it’s a real crazy world. Sometimes Ifind it incredible when I reminisce on some of the things that I have experienced. In everything, I have learnt that the degree of predictability of a person’s mind is equal to the degree of unpredictability (does this even make sense?). Pardon me I am just trying to sound philosophical, to give my story a grand entrance.My name is Sam, I am an undergraduate at the Federal University of Technology. Iam that guy you see everyday in clas
s but hardly talk to (especially if you are a lady), I usually keep to myself not because I am a snub but because I enjoybeing with myself and no, I don’t think less of others-never! Despite the fact that I am sitting on the top of the brainy guy pyramid in my class, I do not despise anyone. I am not a brokers too, I live comfortably in my flat off camp and I’ve got an AC ( that has too count as something abi?). I believe at this point you can conclude rightly that it’s a geekystory you are about to read. I am studying Cyber Security Science. I eat code.Believe it or not this is a love story and a love story has -you guessed right- two major players. In this tale, Sarah plays that second major role. Sarah is my course mate. The girl is fine, she is tall and pretty plus she is brainy. Sarah had brown eyes that sparkled and she had a smile that could set a man’s heart aglow.Unfortunately for me, Sarah had never smiled at me. We were not on speaking terms, we were never on speaking terms.Sarah and I had never spoken (I don’t remember any conversation). I began having feelings for Sarah. It began to appear to me that Sarah was really pretty. I once saw her patiently assist some oldie at the ATM, and my admiration for her grew wings and soared. I had always thought my inabilityto talk to Sarah was because we had large classes and opportunities to relate were scarce, I was wrong. When we advanced and our classes got less and less populated, I still found it hard to speak to Sarah. I couldn’t even say hi. I was the classic Ju guy.I came up with a plan to get her online. I came up with a handle “Mystery_Dan”., of course as you will guess there were several digits attached to the handle. I wanted to use Mystery_Sam but Sam was a give away. So I went ahead and followed and got followed. I had all sortsof people on my TL, most of them strangers, a bulk of them Sarah’s friends. From what I saw on twitter Sarahwas a cool witty chick, she had a sick (in a good way) humour, and was polite and friendly. So on the day Mystery_Dan clocked a month on Twitter I followed Sarah and tweeted at her.“@sparklingruby346 hi follow back”That was how it all kicked off. A witty remark here, some mild humorous sarcasm there and Sarah took note of me. One day I mentioned something about our school and she tweeted back.“@Mystery_Dan you school at Mx?”“Yes, what about you? ”That was me feigning ignorance. We got pretty close after that incident, we even exchanged numbers. I shot texts at her regularly, she responded in kind ferociously. Soon we were spending time on the phone sharing jokes and laughing at stupid stuff. I had told her myname was Dan, and I was studying Mathematics which was in the other campus. It was a classic case of being close on the Internet and being so far apart in real life. The song Awkward by Social Club ft Abiv described us perfectly.I felt Sarah was beginning to have feelings for me. She called me regularly and was suggesting we met. The noose was tightening around my throat. I askedSarah one day “Do you know any Samuelin your department? ” She said she did, and asked if we were brothers. I said yes,he was my younger brother. I then askedhow did he act in class and she was like“That guy? He keeps to himself. He is almost proud, don’t tell him oh”.I assured her that her opinions were safe, and I will not tell sam (me) what she told me (dan).How ironic!The next day Sarah saw me in class, she smiled and said hi, I was flustered. The next week she bumped into me at the canteen cornered me into a conversation. The next hour we were on the phone.“Your brother is not bad oh”“You like him?” I sharply asked.“He talks just like you, and he’s cute”“Sure naw, we are brothers”“If you’re not careful he will snatch your girl friend”I laughed with pleasure when Sarah saidthat. When I asked “which girlfriend?”She laughed and cut the call.After two weeks of dilly dallying and intense pestering from Sarah to meet up.I finally agreed to meet up. We set a date ten days ahead. Those days were the most miserable of my life. I am a gentle guy and the last thing I wanted was to hurt someone I loved. After consultation and deep thought I decided to call Sarah and tell her every thing.I think courage is secreted by either the pancreas or the liver, I put my pancreas and liver on overtime duties, picked up my phone and held down 2. I had Sarah on speed dial, we were that close.“Shey our hangout still stands ba?” That was Sarah, and I could hear her smile.“Yes, but it depends on you. I don’t know. There is something you should know”Little by little the grand deception that was Mystery_Dan was bared open. Sarah just listened silently. Her silence was potent, when I was done she calmly asked me never to call her again and dropped the phone leaving my credit burning. I sent her a long email asking for a second chance. Pffft for where? Sarah didn’t even send. Thankfully it was exam period, the exams kept us apart and kept my mind from insanity.Then the blockade began, first it was twitter then my phone number was next. It was a hell of a time. This part of the story is cliché. Long story short, when allelse failed, I got a new sim and sent her a text.“Sorry for my wrongs. Can we initiate a clean slate protocol? Alright, hangout spot at 3pm on Saturday”.[]Saturday came and I dressed up and went to the restaurant that was our rendezvous point. I had to take a double dose of faith and an overdose of hope to get to the restaurant. I arrived just on time, but she didn’t show up. I decided to pass time chronicling what transpiredbetween Sarah and I, ordering snacks to punctuate my thoughts. I was engrossedtapping on my phone when I heard“Hey mystery dan, , sorry mystery sam, pardon me mystery man”.The End.


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